Love from the beginning till the end

This morning when I woke up, I have told myself that I will shut myself up and give him some spaces to sort it out, better if I can vanish in the air. I want to be invisible as I don't want to aggravate situations.
During my quiet time with God, I poured my feeling down and offered him as my sacrifice.
I read and prayed Psalm 51 as I may have sins that I may not realise it.

A message I received from today's gospel is about revenge.
Never do any revenge, instead love and pray.
He may be lost and broken and perhaps because of the sins, he failed to see the goodness of me.
What he saw is my flaws and I don't meet his expectations.

What I need to do is

Love him
Pray and fast for him
Forgive him

I flashed back the day I met him, the day I asked him to be my boyfriend, the day I proposed him to be my husband.
All along, I have accepted him as who he is, no matter what flaws he have, because that's make him, he.
When he changed to be better, I am happy and took it as a gift/bonus.
However even he didn't change, I still love him as who he is.

I committed to do 9 days pray and fast as offering for him, myself and our marriage.
Perhaps there are sins we commit that made us apart to each other.

I never blame him even he hurts me using words.
I took it as a cross, I am happy because it means that he is being himself instead of faking it just to meet my expectations.

I always love him as who he is not what he has done or what he has achieved.
I love him as a whole him including his strengths, weaknesses, goodness and flaws.
I never compare him with other guys as I always believe God has given me a suitable man who could compliment my weaknesses and I can compliment his weaknesses too.

What I will do now is giving him some spaces and time to sort it out.

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