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Showing posts from November, 2022

Happy Thanksgiving !

After all the drama and roller coaster this week, it's all well and we end the week with thanksgiving celebration at our close friend's house. phew....

The reconciliation

Since both of us were wfh, he asked me to have lunch outside with him. We went to TCC and Dark gallery enjoying our favourite food and we talked more calm this time. Then at night there's a short argument that I need to post our lunch in the ig to do damage control. I didn't post that instant and he's so upset and thought that I didn't care of his feeling etc. I was so tired and seeing him so demanding and childish, I was so agitated and raising voice to him until my physics can't take it anymore. At night, we patched up and had a make up sex and it's so great. We could sleep well and it seems that all of the burdens were flushed out.

The breakdown !

Thursday is our breakdown moment not only me but also hubby. Continue from the previous story, when I couldn't take it anymore, I posted this in the insta. One of our friends messaged me out of curious and empathy. As I was in the weakest point of my life, I told her that I was not okay, I had a marriage problem but I didn't tell her what was the issue. She's shocked because she thought that we are always lovey dovey and couple goals. In the afternoon, I took half day urgent leave because I couldn't focus in my work and planned to bring the kids to Sentosa having fun with them. I messaged my hubby and told him that I took half day leave. He didn't reply me anything which I assumed he may be busy with works. After lunch, closing my laptop, I closed the door and cried it out to God as I lose my best friend whom I could share my feeling, happiness and sadness. Then, few minutes later, someone knocked the door, I thought it's my helper who informed me that there may

It's killing me softly

I just couldn't hold it any more. The pain is killing me softly. I try to be strong but today it seems that I just couldn't stand up. The worse, I couldn't ask anyone for help. I am crying in pain alone and silently. The truth is really sour and bitter and it's hard for me to digest it. The more I knew the truth, it pierces and cuts my heart into pieces and I need to hold that pain alone. Yesterday, he came home on time from giving tuition, he sincerely made commitment to be home on time and before sending her message, he showed it to me to get my approval and there's no more conversation in the chat. Then this morning, he's a bit cold to me, I knew that something was not right thus I am asking him what he feels. He told me that it's a bit awkward for him as he usually gets excitement from spending time with her through chat and now he needs to put conscious effort to hold it and will lose that excitement. I asked him questions what is his feeling about me a

Gratitude for God's providence !

Today I am so happy because I receive the official increment letter, something that I have been looking forward since June. It's all by God's grace and providence and I ask God to help me to be a humble steward.

Healing process in the relationship

This weekend is a fruitful weekend, healing process started in our relationship. Hubby started to open up, shared what he felt, his weakness and challenges. It's kinda painful when I heard that he's still had a thought of other woman but it's all by God's grace that I would be able to stay calm and took it in my stride. There's nothing greater than love to conquer all of these problems. I knew that how much painful it is, I couldn't hate or leave him behind. The more I saw how struggle he is to get out from this evil mind games, the more I love him. We had an ice cream date last Friday, we teased each other as we were in courtship. Then on weekend, we spent our quality time with the kids having meal together at Hawker center, japanese restaurant and dessert shop. At night, we did check in again and we had a great make up sex. We gave our life, souls to each other as whole thus our make up sex is one of the best in kinds. I know there will be ups and downs and th

Trust is to be earned

After all these dramas, hubby promised to keep the chat short and I requested to keep the tuition timing on time, no more longer chats after that and he promised that also. Yesterday was a moment of truth. He told me that he will leave around 9.30pm and reaching home at 10pm. I waited for his call since he usually informed me if he's on the way home until 9.31pm. Since he's not calling, I decided to do night jog to relieve my anxiety and cortisol hormone. Until 10pm, there's no call from him too. I was fuelled with negative thoughts. I told myself, returning home after my run, I will smile and be nice as usual to him but I will do crazy thing, I plan to book the tickets to Japan bringing my kids secretly. I wanted him to feel losing everything that's precious. Around 10.10pm, he called and told me that he's home already and found out that I was not around. He told me it's a surprise to test me whether I have trust in him. To be honest, I didn't trust him ful

Bleeding in love

Speechless.....I don't know what to say.... I am like a silence lamb ready to be slain. Trying to put strong cover in front but broken heart inside. I want to run and scream out loud.... What a faithful Monday when the bomb dropped in front of my face out of nowhere. After we had a great time as a family, I was ready to face the week with positive energy. I have told God that I want to change my prayer style from asking for blessings to be thanksgiving. I want to challenge myself to have faith that what my heart desires has been granted by God. However, things may not happen according to my plan. In the morning, hubby asked me to sit next to him and he said that he wanted to confess about something. I had no suspicious since I have decided to love and trust him that he will be faithful to our marriage. He then confessed that he's been feeling guilty since the same problem resurfaced again. He got too excited chatting the same woman that I thought he has no more crush / fling. A

Fun time at Wild Wild Wet

Sunday fun day, thanks to kids' godparents, we were able to have family fun day at Wild Wild Wet. The weather was perfect, cloudy and not too hot, it's not crowded and we could play all the water attractions. Some are meant for adrenaline junkies like free fall and torpedo which I avoided but hubby and our second born son tried it. We spent around 5 hours there and everyone had a great time together. We closed the day with dining at ramen, perfect for cold night.

Refuel the motivation - business trip

This is my 5th business trip for this year. The main purpose is to participate in the exhibition co-join with our client. I am so grateful with my hubby who hold the fort for me. It's been a fruitful trip.  1. Catch up with my old school friends 2. Catch up with my brother and brother in law 3. One to one session with my boss and I got an increment, yeayy 4. Meeting new prospective clients 5. First time become one of the speaker for the talkshow in front of the public audience 6. Get to know the hotel GM after I lodged in the complaint about the room, get the room changed to the better one and receive personalised services. 7. Self care - hair cut and massage The downside for this trip is I can't sleep well for the whole week. I was too excited with the works, my brain was restless and kept thinking and had a lot of ideas. Thanks God everything is going well and I am still safe and healthy.