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Antidote of Anxiety => Trust

This Friday is my 2nd year performance review and this past few days I felt very anxious.

I proposed myself to take up a new challenge in Business Development Department when the company asked me to do self - assessment. There are many reasons behind

  • I am already used with the current roles and hungry to learn more
  • My previous experience was all about sales and marketing and eventhough I haven't made it big yet, this is the thing that I want to make a breakthrough in my career. To be honest, this product is really new for me and I don't even know what, how, where to start. I don't even know what I am signing up for hahaha.
  • I want to help my CEO and COO. They have treated me with respect, provided me a room to grow and have work life balance. Both are the servant leaders and good mentors, thus I want to contribute what I could to help them and the company.
  • I want to have own portfolio as well for my personal career growth, I don't know until when I will be attached to this company, however when God said that it's the time to move at least I have some experiences, knowledge and skills that I could bring to help other companies.
  • Last but not least, salary increment. It's not that I am greedy and not contented with what we have, I want to help my hubby realise his dreams and personal vocation to be grab drivers and tuition teacher. Something that he's longing for and feels self fulfilment. However, in my current salary, I don't think it's enough to cover our daily expenses to live comfortably as what we currently have.

There are two things that make me anxious. First is whether I can make it or break it as I'm currently diving to the unknown deep ocean.

Secondly, whether the company agrees to give me salary increment that's fair and meet my expectation. I know the company's finance situation is not really good as tech companies are in the hardest hit during recession as many investors hold the money to wait and see.

Thus, I only can offer my anxiety to God. I let Him take control of my life and my future and give me peace for whatever will happen this coming Friday and future.

There are things I could control like doing my job and hard work but a lot of things I couldn't control thus the only way is surrendering things to Him who has given me this job 2 years ago.

When I prayed this morning, the only words that I hear is "Do you trust Me?"



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