New Year Eve 2022

I am planning to hibernate during New Year Eve, sit down and doing some reflections and thinking about New Year resolutions, alas things may not happen according to my plan.

I am very tired physically from the Malaysia trip. What I really want to do just sleep in and do nothing but what make me tired mentally is we fight over trivial matters.

It started well this morning, we brought the kids out to West Coast for breakfast and strolled in the park. Hubby asked me what will be the plan for today as he wanted to give some year end speeches to the kids.

I told him, I had no plan at all as I was very tired. I just wanted to stay at home and rest.

He was quiet but I didn't notice it as I was quiet too to reflect what I have done this year and what will be my new year resolutions.

When we went home everything was normal, I asked our helper to clean our car and did grocery for next week meals.

While waiting the car wash done, I wrote this blog about our Malaysia trip.

After she's done with car washing, I moved the car back and  had power nap.

This evening, the fight started.

He asked where we should eat, I had no plan at all and since the kids wanted to eat subway then I told him let's go to Clementi Mall.

I thought we just take away subway but when he asked the kids whether they wanted to eat subway, the kids said yes and we went to Subway at Clementi Mall and ate there.

I didn't think much cos I really had no plan except to rest and enjoy being at home.

But seemed that my ignorant was the root of what it went wrong,

He's upset that we didn't spent the time in special way as today is the New Year Eve.

He was very cold during our dinner at Subway and after we came back, he asked me to go down and had a talk.

He told me what he felt today that he's very upset. I told him it's not that I didn't care about what he felt, but I was very tired, I knew myself how much my body could take it. I was in between sick and not that's why I couldn't think any plans at all.

I am thinking after 1 full day rest then I can think clearly again and make a plan for tomorrow.

He told me that giving a speech with the kids was important for him and I am supposed to be well after afternoon rest and he told me that I was a selfish person who never considers his feelings and needs.

He thought I should rest straight, I didn't rest after we came back instead I was playing computer. He was busy with his things too, of course while waiting for our helper to wash the car I wrote the blog.

I was shocked and didn't know how to respond.

We had a talk but it seemed that we are in different perspective.

For me, it's just a small matter but for him, it's a big thing.

We had a long talk also about the clothes preference and other things. I just kept quiet because I didn't know how to respond or aggregate the matters. Every time I tried to talk, I was in fault thus I prefer to just keep my mouth shut.

He called me selfish and only care about my feeling and needs. He told me that I always felt that I am right all the time.

Honestly, I didn't know how to respond. I never thought that way because if I don't get what I want, I will find my own way, embrace situation and be happy with the situation.

One thing I learnt from all this fights is to be able to keep my mouth shut and accept him whoever he is. It needs a lot of patiences. Well, I consider it as a muscles training.

I didn't expect this New Year Eve will end like this but it is what it is, I only can breath in and out and move on.