Make A Peace with myself !

I was felt enraged since Wednesday, I could feel that my heart beat is thumping fast, I can't think anything other than anger. I felt so angry and disappointment with the company that I am working right now.

I couldn't see any goodness of it on the split seconds especially what happened last Wednesday when I spoke up the truth about the market but instead of getting support, I was the black sheep.

Yesterday when I was doing morning jogging, something that I haven't done in the past few months, I had enlightenment.

I guess jogging is good to release the anger, anxiety and stress haha

I was challenged if you need to exit, am I able to let go all the comfort life that I enjoy right now ?

• No more frequent holidays, 
• eating in the restaurant without thinking about the bill, 
• no more traveling to Jakarta doing massage and cream bath,
• no more posting in Insta about my high flyer life style, 
• no more status as working mom, 
• no more attending trade show with job title and status.

On the other hand, while I am losing those, I am gaining

• Quality time with the kids and family, I am the second person they meet after going back to school, spending time outdoor during school holiday, teaching them Chinese haha even though I don't like to teach
• Serving God as keyboardist in PD Galilee and PD KKIHS again
• Doing some voluntary work in CBN or other organization
• Time to study and learn to upskill myself
• Planning my side business about Winter rental cloth
• Enjoying my exercise time again

Are you ready to let go of those to gain some of that ?

After a long thought, I told myself, yes I am ready.

I would like to find myself back, my life purpose to make my life more meaningful and create impact to others.

I may lose quick big bucks but I always believe God will always provide.

Perhaps by having less, we also become more humble and rely on God's providence even more.

It doesn't mean that I won't find a new job, it's just I don't know when the next permanent job will come.

I feel relieved and so light burdens when I decide to let go. I feel like the chain has been broken.

I told hubby that I have decided to exit early next year, the main reasons are

• WFO is not my style and won't work in my situation
• Unless the company changes the commercial structures, things won't stay status quo and no result and demoralising

So let see, if this aligns with God's plan and wills, things will be open up positively