Messy Life

This is what I feel right now, my life is in a mess.

I lost my purpose and direction. I feel trapped in my work and alone against the world.

These past few months were very intense for me especially in my work. The dynamic and chemistry have changed within the management and the team.

There's no clear direction and guidance, I am lost in translation, need to handle different things that unrelated with what I am supposed to do.

And with recent incident with the client that I am handling, there are many things that contradict with my principle.

I am really lost and not sure which one is right and wrong, am I too kind, am I too innocent, is the business supposed to work this way, do I need to conform with these against my principle, am I fit with this business, am I the one who's weird ?

There are many questions inside my head right now which I couldn't answer, and I can't even voice out my opinion freely anymore.

I really want to quit as it's too much for me to bear. I even challenge God to deliver me from this agony.

But things may not seem easy, all doors are closed and it seems that I need to stay here.

I don't know how long I could hold this.

I challenge Him, if He really wants me to stay, please help to solve all these complicated problems internal and external as I have no more energy and motivation.

I just live and work in the motion, half of my heart has gone.

I need to refocus and redirect my life purpose and goal again.