Skip to main content

Burn out !


I was so burn out at my work and career right now. I can't sleep well this week, I just felt the high energy inside me but it's in negative ways.

I felt so angry and helpless at the same time with the management. What I don't like is they're arrogant, yes they are smart and experienced people but they are not humble to learn from others.

It was so messy and chaotic inside and slowly the value was drifted from the vision and mission. The leadership team was lost but didn't want to listen to the market needs and feedback.

That's on the high level, on the micro level, I had little control on my time management. They tracked the timing in and out, no more flexible working arrangement.

I felt so powerless and tried to embrace the situation and told myself to keep going and walking.

But I knew inside that my heart was burning, I kept and suppressed the feeling, silence tear and smiling with pain.

I really want to say it quits, not because of the job itself, but the value, support are no longer aligned with mine.

I have been praying day and night but it seems the doors are still closed.

Not sure until when I could hold it, I just hope that God hears my cry and delivers me from this agony.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Since I Found You

Today's mood is this song. SINCE I FOUND YOU I think of you in everything that i do To be with you what ever it takes i'll do Cause you my love, you all my heart desires You've lighten up my life forever i'm alive Since i found you my world seems so brand new You've show me the love i never knew Your presence has spark my whole life through Since i found you my life begin so new Now who needs a dream when there is you For all of my dreams came true Since i found you Your love shines bright Through all the corners of my heart Maybe you are my dearest heart I give you all i have my heart, my soul, my life My destiny is you Forever true... i'm so in love with you Since i found you my world seems so brand new You've show me the love i never knew Your presence has spark my whole life through Since i found you my life begin so new Now who needs a dream when there is you For all of my dreams came true Since i found you My heart fo...

Reset to Zero Ground

Last week was an emotional roller coaster, as I mentioned in my previous blog . On September 28th, I received a revelation: my period arrived eight days earlier than expected according to my app. I was overjoyed, believing that God had answered my prayers. This felt like a sign that being a stay-at-home mom was my next role. I had promised God that if I wasn’t pregnant, I would be willing to follow His will, including nurturing my three boys at home. My first reaction was one of disbelief: "Really? Is this it, God? The end of my career and all my hard work?" Then, I met Tante Elaine, a speaker from Indonesia invited to discuss the importance of being fruitful. Her life story resonated deeply with me and provided another affirmation of my path. She reassured me that I am multitalented and that God might have plans for me that are greater than I can imagine for His Kingdom. She encouraged me to be patient during this process, reminding me that just because we can’t see the frui...

St Ignatius of Loyola - the Saints

THE LIFE OF ST IGNATIUS DE LOYOLA He was born in 1491 in Guipuzcoa, Spain. He was born to Spanish nobility. He lived the normal childhood and adolescence of Spanish nobility, wealthy and vain and entered the Spanish military in 1517. At this point of life, he has ambition to move to higher rank in military, serving as a courtier for Spanish kingdom, having family and owning a castle like the one he was raised in and living the privileged life of Spanish nobility. However God had greater plan for him. His life began to change in 1521 when in a cannonball greatly crippled him in battle and failed surgeries made his leg limb. He was bedridden for about a year and during that time he only had access to the book of Saint biographies and the Life of Christ. He was so frustrated and in desperation since his dream was dashed into pieces, however after reading those books he experienced a radical religious conversion which changed his outlook on life. After rehabilita...