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In the Desert

Over the past few weeks, I have been feeling down, frustrated, and confused. After resigning from my previous job, I was hopeful about finding a new position that would allow me to continue being a working mom while pursuing self-fulfillment.

Despite submitting numerous job applications, I’ve faced continuous setbacks, which led me to question my worth and wonder if something is wrong with me. I found myself questioning what God wants me to do, as it seemed that every door was closing, leaving me with the option of becoming a stay-at-home mom.

I feel that I have more to offer than just staying at home, and this has been a source of frustration for me. During a recent cardio session, I came across a video from Life Church on YouTube. The message was about calming a restless mind, and one particular verse struck me deeply.

The speaker shared that when Jesus was baptized, He had not yet performed any ministry work or miracles. He was simply an ordinary carpenter who was baptized, and yet God affirmed His worth and expressed pride in Him before He had achieved anything.

This resonated with me as a reminder that God’s love and pride in us are not contingent upon our successes or results. After His baptism, Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the desert for purification and preparation before starting His ministry. This reminded me of my own journey, which might be a period of personal purification, refining my ambitions, motives, and character before being entrusted with new responsibilities.

I recognize that my personal ambitions for fame and power conflict with God’s plan for me, and these are areas that need cleansing and healing. I shared my thoughts with my husband, unsure if he was ready to accept that God might want me to focus on being a stay-at-home mom while he becomes the sole breadwinner again.

I was relieved to find that he is open to and supportive of this new chapter. He suggested that while he focuses on his career, my role is to nurture our children, providing non-monetary support. This perspective has brought me a sense of relief and lightness. Although I still have personal goals and ambitions, I am choosing to trust in God’s plan and timing.

If God sees fit for me to embark on a new adventure, I trust that He will provide the grace and guidance needed.



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