This period feels like my own personal "desert"—not in a literal sense, but as a time of purification where I allow God to heal my wounded heart, clarify my mission, build my character, and strengthen my faith.
I recognize three main temptations I need to conquer:
The Lust of the Flesh: Jesus faced his first temptation to turn stones into bread, tested on whether he would trust God’s providence or try to create his own path. Similarly, I find myself jobless despite my deep desire to work. I've applied for numerous positions, but it feels like God has closed all the doors. Trusting in His providence during this time is challenging. I often feel useless and worthless, yet I remind myself that God’s grace is sufficient to help me through each day.
The Lust of the Eyes: It’s easy to feel envious when I see former colleagues securing jobs effortlessly. While I genuinely want to be happy for them, I sometimes struggle with feelings of disgust regarding how my previous company treated me and my colleagues. In those moments, a soft voice reminds me to question my reactions: What would I gain from expressing my anger publicly? Would it truly bring me happiness? Am I judging the situation fairly, or am I only seeing part of the picture?
The Pride of Life: When I see someone I consider my "enemy" taking over a project I was meant to lead, it stirs annoyance within me. However, I realize that the project never truly belonged to me; it was for the company to decide who would lead. Why should I let myself be upset about something that isn’t mine to control?
These reflections reveal the wounds and imperfections in my life that need detoxifying before I can embrace a new mission. Typically, detox periods last around 40 days, so I’ll see if mine unfolds in a similar timeframe, even if I didn’t mark the start.
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