Embrace the Uncertainty - self conversation

This morning I feel awful when I wake up, it's like my heart was torn in between two sides.

R :  is telling me to be contented and embrace today without knowing what will happen tomorrow, and it reminds me of my real vocation to be the helper and life giving for the family.

Supporting and praying for hubby, nurturing and providing mental and moral support to the kids and be there for the family.

L : is telling me that I'm a failure, in my whole career I never achieve "success" literally.

As a sales person, I never really hit the target as there's never a real target. I am applying job and no door is open, I fail to even sell myself and how can I sell other people products and services.

R : is telling me what's important in your life ? if today is your last day who will care and what legacy you want to pass to your closed one ?

L : is telling me that you are a looser, whatever you do by applying job or posting article in LinkedIn, no results right ? people only want the experienced ones, they don't need nice and kind people. 

Your hubby will be sole breadwinner again, don't you worry and care for it ?

R : Embrace the uncertainty, God knows best what You need. If He asks you to be stay at home mom again, just say yes into it. He will provide, He has taken care of your family in the past 12 years when you were stay at home and your family survive, why doubting Him ?

L : Your life gonna be boring and never use your maximum potential. You are born to be the leader,  if you become stay at home mom, you will lose the opportunity to shine and you have dreamt to be the speaker in the stage with lots of audiences right, you can kiss that good bye

R : Trust God, He knows what best for you. This is the healing time, you may not realise that you're not healthy spiritually. As long as you want to chase the fame and power, it will be detrimental for you and your relationship. Have you not known that you like to run fast and left others behind ?

This is something that you need to work on by practicing to walk in slow pace but constant.

L : Then you are not living yourself, how much you have missed the time ? see your friends who have been climbing up the ladder and if you wait again, no much time left

R : Yes, there's uncertainty and this is when you can rely on God and see His wondrous works.

Trust God, you may feel that you lose everything but you will gain something. Remember what God said. whoever lose his life, will gain his life back. Take up the cross and follow me, by doing self denials.

God knows you, He created you long before for you to be happy and successful in His own way not according to the world's views.

Embrace this uncertainty, pray relentlessly, do your task list diligently, help your kids and be there for them, love and support your hubby, serve God and spark the fire back in the community.

Trust God, He will provide and He will be there for you till the end of the time even if you make wrong decisions.

That's what you need to do, don't over think and don't try to control what gonna be happen tomorrow as we don't even know what is going to happen in the next seconds.