Davin Indah Love story

  This is what I feel right now. Everything was going well in the past week and suddenly the beautiful vase was broken apart. I even didn't know how to describe the feeling.  Hurt, upset, pity, mercy are mixed together. Sometimes I am just wondering if we can turn the back time again, what could be ? Lord, what's going on ? I have been putting myself together despite the brokenness. Lord, I really need you most, to give me strength and grace and heal my broken heart. Please help me to understand my hubby's heart and mind too. I really don't know who is right and wrong, I am just feeling confused right now. Oh Lord, You are the one united us since the beginning and we are running out the wine. Please replenish our wine of love. The true love. It's all started on Friday night when hubby showed me a talk from of of pastors about marriage affairs. I didn't think much at first but thing was getting intense when I probed him further and finally he confessed that when ...

Since both of us were wfh, he asked me to have lunch outside with him. We went to TCC and Dark gallery enjoying our favourite food and we talked more calm this time. Then at night there's a short argument that I need to post our lunch in the ig to do damage control. I didn't post that instant and he's so upset and thought that I didn't care of his feeling etc. I was so tired and seeing him so demanding and childish, I was so agitated and raising voice to him until my physics can't take it anymore. At night, we patched up and had a make up sex and it's so great. We could sleep well and it seems that all of the burdens were flushed out.

Thursday is our breakdown moment not only me but also hubby. Continue from the previous story, when I couldn't take it anymore, I posted this in the insta. One of our friends messaged me out of curious and empathy. As I was in the weakest point of my life, I told her that I was not okay, I had a marriage problem but I didn't tell her what was the issue. She's shocked because she thought that we are always lovey dovey and couple goals. In the afternoon, I took half day urgent leave because I couldn't focus in my work and planned to bring the kids to Sentosa having fun with them. I messaged my hubby and told him that I took half day leave. He didn't reply me anything which I assumed he may be busy with works. After lunch, closing my laptop, I closed the door and cried it out to God as I lose my best friend whom I could share my feeling, happiness and sadness. Then, few minutes later, someone knocked the door, I thought it's my helper who informed me that there may...

I just couldn't hold it any more. The pain is killing me softly. I try to be strong but today it seems that I just couldn't stand up. The worse, I couldn't ask anyone for help. I am crying in pain alone and silently. The truth is really sour and bitter and it's hard for me to digest it. The more I knew the truth, it pierces and cuts my heart into pieces and I need to hold that pain alone. Yesterday, he came home on time from giving tuition, he sincerely made commitment to be home on time and before sending her message, he showed it to me to get my approval and there's no more conversation in the chat. Then this morning, he's a bit cold to me, I knew that something was not right thus I am asking him what he feels. He told me that it's a bit awkward for him as he usually gets excitement from spending time with her through chat and now he needs to put conscious effort to hold it and will lose that excitement. I asked him questions what is his feeling about me a...

After all these dramas, hubby promised to keep the chat short and I requested to keep the tuition timing on time, no more longer chats after that and he promised that also. Yesterday was a moment of truth. He told me that he will leave around 9.30pm and reaching home at 10pm. I waited for his call since he usually informed me if he's on the way home until 9.31pm. Since he's not calling, I decided to do night jog to relieve my anxiety and cortisol hormone. Until 10pm, there's no call from him too. I was fuelled with negative thoughts. I told myself, returning home after my run, I will smile and be nice as usual to him but I will do crazy thing, I plan to book the tickets to Japan bringing my kids secretly. I wanted him to feel losing everything that's precious. Around 10.10pm, he called and told me that he's home already and found out that I was not around. He told me it's a surprise to test me whether I have trust in him. To be honest, I didn't trust him ful...

Speechless.....I don't know what to say.... I am like a silence lamb ready to be slain. Trying to put strong cover in front but broken heart inside. I want to run and scream out loud.... What a faithful Monday when the bomb dropped in front of my face out of nowhere. After we had a great time as a family, I was ready to face the week with positive energy. I have told God that I want to change my prayer style from asking for blessings to be thanksgiving. I want to challenge myself to have faith that what my heart desires has been granted by God. However, things may not happen according to my plan. In the morning, hubby asked me to sit next to him and he said that he wanted to confess about something. I had no suspicious since I have decided to love and trust him that he will be faithful to our marriage. He then confessed that he's been feeling guilty since the same problem resurfaced again. He got too excited chatting the same woman that I thought he has no more crush / fling. A...

Yesterday (Sunday) was a blessed Sunday. I started my day with sacrament of reconciliation following by Sunday mass and had my first day of fasting. I asked God during the Holy Eucharist to give me grace and love as I can't predict or control the day and future, I want to give the best I could and let God take control of everything. We had family dinner to celebrate our first son's birthday and my dad's early birthday, we invited our relatives as well. At night, after watching netflix, we talked again, he told me that he forgave me and we  reconciled and made love. It's one of the best sex since last year Christmas's eve :P  There's peace in our heart and we could sleep very well and ready to start a blessed week again.

Last Wednesday we had another arguments after I shared the article from Focus on Family about Emotional Affairs. He didn't feel good and thought that I judged him and we were back to square 1 again even though he has done his best to win me back. I knew and appreciated his efforts, the last 5 days during long weekend was one of the best days in my life that I felt over the moon and I didn't want to lose that moment. Some parts of me still clinging on the hurt and felt insecure especially when he's going to meet his "former fling". I told him where I am coming from and he understood. He promised to show me all the chats he had and no secret and lies between us. On Thursday, he asked me to follow him for his usual tuition but I preferred to have my "me time" so I ended up going for shopping therapy at Orchard. I bought some underwear and lingeries as well as casual tshirt because there is on - going promotion thus I thought it's a good deal. At night, ...

Here's another useful tips from Focus on the family website which some are applicable in our marriage too. When the affair comes to light : Do not make any quick decision to end the marriage -  Begin the process of healing your heart—identifying your emotions and grieving the impact of the affair. Take your time -  If you are the offending spouse, admitting the exact nature of what happened without concealing critical facts is important. However, a fuller picture of the essential details will take some time and guidance to prepare. Tell the truth, but don’t rush into the intimate details immediately. Minimizations, omissions, and unnecessarily graphic information can do additional harm. Be truthful, be patient, and seek guidance on how to appropriately engage in full disclosure. Give each other individual space - The revelation of an affair can be very traumatic and intense. Take a time - out when you need to de-escalate emotions Seek support - Surround yourself with those...

Another article from Focus Family group which is our self - reminder and also to guard ourselves against the evil who loves to deceive us  A n emotional affair may start with a conversation over the Internet, or an innocent friendship in the workplace. Maybe it begins with a simple thought:  Unlike my spouse, this person really understands me .  What can it hurt? I need a little excitement in my life. These romances may seem harmless — perhaps even a “safe” alternative to cheating on your spouse. But  emotional affairs  venture into dangerous territory; while they may not lead to physical involvement, they can still devastate marriages. Not just a harmless romance The  American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy  warns against emotional affairs: “A new crisis of infidelity is emerging in which people who never intended to be unfaithful are unwittingly crossing the line from platonic friendships into romantic relationships. Not just “innocent f...

This article is from Focus Family and I thought it's good as self reminder for both of us so we don't take for granted of each other and commit to maintain marriage fidelity for the rest of our lives. Nobody wakes up one day and suddenly decides to begin an extramarital affair. Infidelity begins in the heart and mind. By the time a person physically commits adultery, he or she has been indulging for quite some time in progressively more intense mental and   emotional affairs . Likewise, marital fidelity begins long before marriage. It begins as a promise we make to ourselves to be a person of faithful character before marriage ever enters the picture. It is a promise we make to our future spouse when we get engaged, and it is a vow we make to our spouse when we get married. Marital fidelity is a daily commitment to seek the best for your spouse and family. Strengthening Marital Fidelity Marital fidelity is strengthened when you affirm your spouse, listen to your spouse, and se...

Love until it hurts. After Thursday night when he threw me to the hell 9, he promised to win my heart back and he has done his best to shower me with love and affection. On Friday, he hugged and kissed me a lot and made me the only princess in his life. I was so touch and finally gave in. We had a great sex on Friday night. The next day, he asked me to have breakfast together while waiting our youngest son having soccer. I felt his love and can't say no when he hugged and cuddled me when we arrived at home and we had another sex and that's another best 2. We felt so connected and never felt this strong before. After that, we had lunch and shopping to renew our wardrobe. In the afternoon, he asked me to watch him playing badminton. This was my first time also watching him playing the sport that he's good at. He's so cool and made my heart melted. After settling down the kids, we had late dinner at Opio bar and had night strolling before ending the day with another great ...

Confused - Overwhelmed - Sad - Disappointed - Insecurity - Betrayed Love - mercy - pity - acceptance When both feelings are mixed, the result is numb. It feels like your heart has been pierced and wrenched till it hits the nerves and you can't feel anything anymore. When I thought I was in cloud 9, has been reconciled with hubby. He dropped the grenade yesterday. He confessed everything that I have been suspected long before. I knew that something was not right but I just couldn't pinpoint, when I confronted him, he always defended and assured me that I was the one for him thus it made me feel that this was my fault feeling too sensitive and thought that it's just simply my illusion and imagination. I always tried to convince myself that he loved me wholeheartedly especially the past week that he always hugged and cuddled me before sleep. Turned out, he affirmed that my suspicious was correct. I was still in denial and thought that it's just a dream. The more he confess...

After all drama that happens recently between us and our close friends, we are reminded that how important is our spouse. Looking back where we started 16 years ago and how we journeyed together in good and bad times and how we grew to be more mature and wiser, we are grateful that we have each other to support, push to the limit and also cheer up. These past few days, we talked a lot about the past and affirmed that we can't live without each other. I am his guardian angel and he is my pillar of strength and it makes us fall in love once again. We had a great sex in the past few days and the emotional connection is so strong. I am grateful for this pruning time to make us realise that we are the best gift for each other from God. Winter snow if falling down, Children laughing all around Lights are turning on, like a fairy tale come true Sitting by the fire we made You're the answer when I prayed I would find someone, and baby I found you All I want is to hold you forever All I...

After coming back from ladies night, we had another heart to heart talk about the same topic. I poured my heart to him since I was under alcohol influence, I may not be able to think straight thus I just said whatever I felt inside without thinking.  Of course, it agitated him, he felt that he's being judged and controlled and felt that it's not fair for him. I knew I was wrong because I didn't think properly when I said thus it created another confusion. Thanks God, he fully understood what I was coming from. Thus we could calm down, and he assured me that he loves me wholeheartedly since the beginning, now and forever. He told me that I was his lucky charms and guardian angel. Who he is now because I have a big role in shaping him to be the better man.