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Assumptions is the Opposite of Communication


Yesterday was a great day to start in the beginning. Both of us planned to have evening exercise together.
However, when I picked him up in the evening just before exercise, my mood turned upside down.
When he came in to the car, he told me that his boss asked him about the car since the company had given him a car allowance and yet he never rode the car to the office.

Prior to that, we already had an issue who's going to use the car next year.
In my own thought, I feel that this car will be useful to move around then just stay and do nothing in the office.
However, his thought is the opposite, he feels that as a sales manager, probably the highest paid in the office, he's entitled to have car and yet he needs to take the company bus as well as other inconveniences.

At first, I assumed that he's a changed man after entering this company.
Yes, there's no pressure, and this is the dream company that he wants so I assumed that he became complacent in faith and his pride and ego took over him.
I felt so sad and disappointed and prayed that God opened his heart.
It seemed like He answered my prayer, during his recent business trip in Jakarta, he lost a deal with the company that he thought he already had controlled.

So when he shared his recent business trip story, I felt that hey, God's telling you that don't overestimate yourself, whatever we had is not ours, it's just gift and temporary that's why we need to be a good steward.
And I hinted him again, about who's going to use the car next year. He again, persistence in his decision that he's going to use the car and the kid will use school bus.
I just kept quiet and I thought okay, I respected his decision.

I followed his instruction and asked the school for school bus contact to ask the fee.
It's crazy because there's 50% increment from last year.
So we decided that I will continue to use the car and he will use it occasionally.

However, thing suddenly changed yesterday.
After telling me that there's no other option since the boss has been asking about it, he needs the car next year even though it will stay in the office and do nothing.
I was shocked and needed some times to calm myself down and tried to figure out the new arrangements.
I just kept quiet after exercise and during dinner, and he already felt something amiss.

So he exploded and raised the voices.
I just kept quiet because it's all too sudden and I couldn't just tell him my feeling yet.

In the end, after both of us calming down, we started the conversation to express our feeling and discovered that all awhile we misunderstood each other because we made assumption instead of telling the truth about what we think and feel.

After a long day, finally we had reach a conclusion that he will bring the car 3x a week and me 2x a week and we guess it's a fair arrangement.

Lesson learned :




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