Last Thursday, my husband and I had an argument over something trivial. The kids were running late, but I insisted they brush their teeth, even if it meant being three minutes late. I wanted them to learn the lesson that responsibilities shouldn’t be skipped, no matter the circumstances.
My husband was upset with how I handled the situation. He expressed that he felt angry and disrespected. In response, I raised my voice too, overwhelmed by the pressures of managing the kids and navigating my new business venture.
Although we agreed to talk it out that day, our conversation didn’t resolve much. We withdrew into our own emotional spaces, becoming distant while still fulfilling our roles as parents.
By Saturday, we decided to have a deeper conversation. I shared the darker side of my feelings—how my faith felt like it was hanging by a thread after what happened at my workplace last year. I felt cornered, as if every door had closed on me. Even with this new business opportunity, I often felt alone, carrying everything on my shoulders.
My husband listened and then asked, "Why do you feel that way? I’ve always been here. Maybe I can’t help 100% since this isn’t my calling, but I’m always willing to brainstorm with you when you’re stuck."
He reminded me to be grateful. While my career hasn’t gone as planned, I have been blessed in so many ways—good health, a beautiful and supportive family, a fully paid home, a kind and loyal helper, the ability to travel, and the financial freedom to start a business without urgent financial pressure.
"Sometimes, we focus too much on the 10% we don’t have and forget about the 90% we do," he said. He encouraged me to read Being Happy, a book I hadn’t gotten around to yet—perhaps I will during my upcoming trip to Bangkok.
On Sunday, I decided to go for confession, asking for God’s forgiveness for my arrogance and selfishness. I also forgave God for the times when things didn’t happen according to my expectations.
Then on Monday, during daily Mass, the priest’s homily struck me deeply:
"Too often, we seek God’s blessings but forget to seek God Himself."
When life aligns with our plans, we praise God, believing it’s proof of His love. But when things take a different turn, we question Him—"Where is He?"—and throw spiritual tantrums.
It’s just like the parent-child relationship. Parents always want the best for their children. But when a child asks for something and is told later, they throw a tantrum, not seeing the bigger picture. Likewise, when a child has been obedient for the most part but slips up once, we parents can get frustrated, forgetting all the times they did well.
One incident does not define a relationship.
God loves us no matter what. And our love for Him should not be based on what He does for us—but on who He is.
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