Confusion Vs Slow down

The past 2 days, I was in “panic attack” mode.

Suddenly I felt anxious.
My mind became noisy.
I started making decisions without really thinking clearly.

I was confused. Stuck. Worried about how this business will move forward.

I revamped the website.
Ran social media ads.
Reached out to previous customers.

But nothing happened.

The inbox stayed empty.
No WhatsApp enquiries.
No bookings.

Slowly, I started doubting myself.

Out of panic, I opened LinkedIn, JobStreet, and Glassdoor and started applying for jobs — honestly, even jobs that I myself was not sure about.

Maybe I just wanted to feel useful again.
To feel productive.
To feel like I was doing “something” instead of waiting.

But strangely, there was still no peace inside me.

So I decided to slow down.

I went for Mass.
Spent some quiet time.
And in the morning during my cardio time, I listened to sermons by Rick Warren.

Interestingly, he talked about God’s timing.

God has His own timetable.
And His time is very different from ours because God is timeless.

Sometimes His timing comes unexpectedly.
Sometimes it inconveniences us.
Sometimes it stretches us longer than we want.

But God is never too early and never too late.

If it’s not the appointed time yet, no matter how much we force or rush it, nothing may happen.

But when the time comes, God can change a situation so quickly that it leaves us speechless.

That thought comforted me deeply.

Maybe it’s not that God does not hear my prayers.
Maybe it’s not that He is ignoring my efforts.
Maybe… it is simply not the right time yet.

Another thing that consoled me was hearing about God’s blueprint for our lives.

He said many of us will go through these 5 stages:

Dream — God gives us a vision or desire in our hearts.

Decision — We take a step of faith and choose to act.

Delay — The waiting season, where nothing seems to move, but God is preparing us quietly.

Difficulty — The painful stage where challenges, disappointments, and dead ends come.

Deliverance — The moment God reveals His glory in a way that only He could have done.

I think I may be somewhere between the delay and difficulty stage now.

Some days feel very heavy.
Self-doubt and feeling “useless” have become my daily shadows.

And honestly, the only strength I can gather right now is attending weekday Mass, receiving the Eucharist, and trusting that God is still with me even when I cannot see anything unfolding yet.

So for now, I decide to slow down.

To stop forcing.
To stop panicking.

And just let things unfold in God’s timing.

While waiting, maybe I will write reflection books.
Maybe I will learn something new like Google SEO.
Maybe this season is not a wasted season after all.

Maybe this is still preparation.