Self doubt is the most undesirable circumstances that I feel it's not easy to grasp.
Drifting here and there without any certainty and clarity.
Confused between the truth and manipulation.
Doubting who I am and what I am doing.
Feeling like I'm not who I am.
It's all started few months back when I didn't feel comfortable during our regular business meeting about goal and target.
There's nothing wrong with having goal and target, but I just feel unnecessary pressure upon me.
When I joined this networking business, my goal is actually purely sharing what I use, the benefits I use and not exactly for money.
However when our leader starts to set the goal as well as individual goal, I feel like sales people in the company with monthly target.
I rarely have a joy in doing it other than pressure.
I started doubting myself, questioning what I am doing and who I really am.
Then it's flashed back last year when I was contemplating three options between building my own company, working for people or joining networking marketing.
And only the last option was opened at that time, I took the step with a blessing of my hubby.
I eagerly learned and from that I found my passion and purpose in life.
I enjoyed what I am doing, sharing about the truth of healthy life style even without getting paid.
People see me as health evangelist advocating exercise, healthy food, rest and being positive.
They may not associate me with supplements and networking marketing which I am glad.
However, recently with different strategy in the group, I feel that I am no longer I am to be.
I feel that I just followed the crowds even though I feel that it's not me.
The more I walk, the more I drag myself.
Then, I told my hubby - my best friend about what I felt and I was very grateful that he understood and his advise was very simple.
If you didn't find peace, it may not be right or it may not be you even though you 1001 reasons to convince yourself.
Everyone has different vision, maybe you can't see that you are in this networking business if God never plants it to you.
Just be yourself, be truthful to yourself, and make peace within.
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