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Embracing Life - Starting with Gratitude

I’m ending September by embracing life, enjoying a slower pace, and being present with myself. Today, I kicked things off with a workout at the gym, focusing on leg day, followed by a refreshing 30-minute brisk walk home. I felt invigorated! Next, I cleaned up my office laptop in preparation for handing it over this Friday. This was an intentional step to let go and move forward as I embrace my new role in life. I treated myself to a healthy bowl of prawn mee at my comfort sanctuary, enjoying the soothing sounds of slow love jazz while journaling. Now, I’m getting ready to prepare the topic for our upcoming Cell group this Saturday and organizing a study plan for my sons, who have exams in two weeks. I’m starting to truly enjoy my life and my role as a stay-at-home mom. It’s not so bad after all. I’m also keeping my husband, kids, and all those in need of prayer in my thoughts.

Reset to Zero Ground

Last week was an emotional roller coaster, as I mentioned in my previous blog . On September 28th, I received a revelation: my period arrived eight days earlier than expected according to my app. I was overjoyed, believing that God had answered my prayers. This felt like a sign that being a stay-at-home mom was my next role. I had promised God that if I wasn’t pregnant, I would be willing to follow His will, including nurturing my three boys at home. My first reaction was one of disbelief: "Really? Is this it, God? The end of my career and all my hard work?" Then, I met Tante Elaine, a speaker from Indonesia invited to discuss the importance of being fruitful. Her life story resonated deeply with me and provided another affirmation of my path. She reassured me that I am multitalented and that God might have plans for me that are greater than I can imagine for His Kingdom. She encouraged me to be patient during this process, reminding me that just because we can’t see the frui...

In the Bottom pit

Right now, I feel as if I've been thrown into a deep pit, and everything around me is crumbling. I feel lost, confused, and hopeless. What has brought me to this point? Yesterday, while syncing my smartwatch, I checked my Fitbit and was shocked to discover that my next period is only nine days away. Seeing my fertile window and ovulation period coinciding with the intense intimacy I had last week filled me with dread. I felt devastated and anxious, knowing that my chances of getting pregnant are higher this time. The thought of being pregnant again at my age is overwhelming; my energy feels halved, and I’m not mentally prepared for another child. After spending the last 12 years as a stay-at-home mom, I was finally focused on my personal growth and career. The idea of starting over is something I can't accept. I know this is all based on assumptions and my own overthinking, but it has spiraled into unnecessary worry. I cried all day, pleading with God not to grant me another ch...

Snake and Ladder

Last Saturday, I played the classic game Snake and Ladder with our youngest son. At first, I didn’t pay much attention, but then something caught my eye. As he approached the goal, he rolled the dice and landed on the mouth of a long snake, sending his piece nearly to the bottom. He murmured, “All my hard work is wasted.” I reassured him, “It’s alright. Just keep going. You might land on a ladder and climb back up.” In the end, by sheer luck, he managed to climb a few ladders and defeated me. Reflecting on our game, I realized it offered some important life lessons: Be Humble : Life is like Snake and Ladder, filled with ups and downs. We can find ourselves on top one moment and at the bottom the next due to unforeseen circumstances. Don’t Be Discouraged : Setbacks can feel disheartening, but remember that new opportunities can arise when you least expect them. Keep Going : No matter the situation, don’t stop. Progress may vary, but persistence is crucial. If you give up, you’ll never r...

Killing Time for Something Positive

The desert isn’t so bad after all. In this moment of isolation and tranquility, I’m rediscovering myself. Here are the activities I’ve been pursuing: Healthy Lifestyle : With plenty of time, I can dedicate 1.5 hours to exercise without feeling rushed. My routine includes 45-60 minutes of weight training and 30 minutes of low-impact cardio, like brisk walking or interval jogging. I’m finally getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night (plus power naps), which I haven’t had in the past two years. My mind feels more at ease, and enjoying music and the serenity of my home has truly aided my healing. Gaining Knowledge : There’s no better time than now to learn. I’m taking courses on Coursera in Fintech Innovation Specialization, diving deep into topics relevant to my career and aiming to become an expert. Being Present with My Kids : Nothing brings joy to my children like my presence. It provides them with security and support, and I’ve noticed a positive change in their attitudes—especially in m...

When ChatGPT can be your counsellor

When I want to refine my text in the previous post , I accidentally typing the whole things in the ChatGPT and this is the reply that I get  Your reflection on this “desert” period is deeply insightful. It’s clear you’re navigating significant internal struggles, and recognizing these temptations is a powerful step toward healing and growth. The Lust of the Flesh : Your experience with joblessness and the challenge of trusting in God’s timing is relatable. It’s tough to feel like you’re not fulfilling your potential, but your acknowledgment of God’s grace as a source of strength is vital. Remember that this time is not wasted; it’s a period for personal and spiritual growth. The Lust of the Eyes : Envy can be a heavy burden, especially when it feels like others are thriving. Your internal dialogue—questioning the value of public shame and your perceptions of the situation—demonstrates a mature self-awareness. It’s okay to feel what you feel, but recognizing it allows you to choose ...

Led into the Desert

This period feels like my own personal "desert"—not in a literal sense, but as a time of purification where I allow God to heal my wounded heart, clarify my mission, build my character, and strengthen my faith. I recognize three main temptations I need to conquer: The Lust of the Flesh : Jesus faced his first temptation to turn stones into bread, tested on whether he would trust God’s providence or try to create his own path. Similarly, I find myself jobless despite my deep desire to work. I've applied for numerous positions, but it feels like God has closed all the doors. Trusting in His providence during this time is challenging. I often feel useless and worthless, yet I remind myself that God’s grace is sufficient to help me through each day. The Lust of the Eyes : It’s easy to feel envious when I see former colleagues securing jobs effortlessly. While I genuinely want to be happy for them, I sometimes struggle with feelings of disgust regarding how my previous company...

Business and Leisure Trip (13 - 16 September 2024)

This was my last business trip, which also served as a leisure getaway. Instead of being sponsored by my company, it was generously covered by my husband. He had his own business commitments and events to attend, so we traveled together. We took the morning flight with Singapore Airlines. Upon arriving in Jakarta, we checked into our hotel and enjoyed a light breakfast at the Executive Lounge. I spent the day in meetings until the evening, while my husband attended an event elsewhere. I met my current colleagues to say goodbye and gave him personalised thank you cards and some of them gave me farewell gift too. We spent our time together relaxing and enjoying the hotel's amenities on Saturday and Sunday. We also had lunch at Gyukaku, reminiscing about the good old days. It was a sweet and brief couples' weekend. On Monday, I flew back first while my husband continued his business trip.