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Couple Empowerment Program Session 3 - Building Intimacy


Today, I attended the CEP alone because he went for business trip and needed to stay over the week end overseas.

Marital intimacy is not confined to those few and isolated experience as the world's view for eg sex, one night stand, romanticism. It is found daily in the sharing of "deepest me" and "deepest you", an exchange of feelings and thoughts deep down. It can lead to the spiritual and physical intimacy between husband and wife.

We can start by saying Good morning and tender gaze at our spouse when we FFTS (first face to see) in the morning, we can prepare our spouse's breakfast, kiss goodbye, spending time together after dinner and even cuddling our spouse LFTS (last face to see)
Those little things count. Like a quote said, plant the seeds in the morning and harvest them at night.
If we build up those intimacy in daily basis, physical intimacy would be something that both enjoy not as duty.

Marriage intimacy is not an option in marriage, it's the very essence of marital union.

A good marriage must involve the progressive move from the "I", to the "WE" and "I-THOU" relationship where we humble ourselves and put our spouse more important than us.

We need to practice not only self sacrificing but self donating, when we are able to humble ourselves and not forcing our way when our spouse is disagree for the sake of their well being.

There are many ways to build intimacy

 1. Self disclosure and at times risking vulnerability
meaning that we need to verbalize our needs, feelings, and don't expect our spouse read our mind and feelings

2. Patiently understanding other's needs
By understand different love language, we could be able to know our spouse needs

3. Focusing on what is good for us
Sometimes, we need to sacrifice or slow down our hobbies, interests, dreams if it's good for our marriage

4. Making decision to love at the expense of our wants and needs
Love is not about feeling but it's about decision even though we don't feel it again.

Sacrament of Marriage is also known as Sacrament of Intimate Friendship, so being the best friends we need to

1. Love - learning to love despite different personalities
2. Loyalty - we need to stand by to our spouse and defend them in good and bad times
3. Challenging and encouraging each other to face our own fears and weaknesses, sometimes we could nurture and bring out the best of each other through some challenges and encouragement
4. Respect and tenderness
5. Fondness and admiration.

Marriage is a lifetime discovery, life of friendship and faithfulness where we should grow towards Godly husband and wife
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